The Mullet Experiment

Many of you will be surprised to find me blogging as Daisha usually occupies our
modest website with her own blurbs and photos about our familiy's modest happenings.

However, it is now time that I told the world my story. You see, decided I would grow my hair out for 6 months in order to have a legendary Mullet. A hairstyle many believed to be going extinct. As you will see this journey brought me to see that the Mullet is more than a hairstyle...it's a lifestyle.

Anyway, this is how I started 6 months ago....




THE COMPLETED PALLET
After a 5 months I grew a beard for a month in order to have an adequate canvas-space for my hairstyle exploration/experimentation. After much grooming, primping and combing finally the 6 month marked arrived.
















WHAT MANNER OF MAN IS THIS?


As I got out of the shower, laden only with the cares of human-kind and a towel me thinkst I saw in the mirror someone very familiar staring back at me. I gazed in meditation for 3 days and 3 nights but I couldn't figure out who it reminded me of.


THE 'BIZ'MULLET (aka "Missouri Compromise")


This is how I showed up for my first couple Orthodontic interviews needless to say . . . they were WAY IMPRESSED! I greeted them with a standard Bizmullet salutation of grabbing the hand as if arm-wrestling then bumping my shoulder into their unsuspecting chest. Then, after showing them I was a streamlined professional with a little face-time, I turned around and walked away displaying my most excellent plumage cascading down my warm neck as if to say "Heah I'm professional but I still like to party" . . . . I'm not sure why I haven't heard back from those schools.



BUISNESS IN FRONT

PARTY IN THE BACK












THE TRUCKER MULLET (aka "Mississippi Mudflap")

This more aggressive look reeks of mulletude. Common at monster truck rallies and county fairs the Mudflap came in handy when I took our minivan into the mechanic who automatically assumed I too knew a great deal about cars and talked to me about brake pads for 10 minutes.














MULLESTACHE (aka The "Wisconsic Waterfall")

The combination of a mustache and mullet. Although very creepy this subspecies of the Bizmullet has a special place in the hearts of Scout Leaders and Little League coaches the country over. Geographic preponderance exists in Canada and bordering states. This look didn't last very long because Daisha wouldn't let me hold the kids on my lap or read them a bed-time story until it was long gone.


FORM & FUNCTION
Though not a proper mullet per se this look is as classic as the white athletes who made it popular during the time when Afros were all but stealing the spotlight.
















THE RAT-TAIL


Rat Tails ARE indeed a hybrid of the mullet and commonly sported by latino children and white adolescents. For an adult to grow one is truly a rare, unique sight. Adults with the Rat are found typically in the video game industry or are professional eBay-er vendors selling various old school hand held games, rare PONG systems, etc. Most experts still classify the Rat as a predominately adolescent style and that adults that sport such a look are really living in a state of suspended adolescence. My own rat-tail stayed on for only a matter of minutes. It reminded me too much of a run in with a fat bully in 3rd grade. I couldn't even bear to get a picture taken with it.


THE CULMINATION OF 6 MONTHS HARD WORK
Mullet (mulit): a hairstyle, common among those of subnormal socio-
economic status, consisting of short, well groomed hair on the anterior area of the head and long, flowing locks on the posterior area of the head.


Mine is a classic Jock-Mullet with flat-top-like spike in front and 'curls for the girls' in back. You can still catch glimpses of this mullet hanging out of the back of football and NASCAR helmets. Bearers of these mullets are known to have affinities for Jock music such as Cum On Feel the Noize (Quiet Riot), Highway to the Danger Zone (Kenny Loggins) and Rock You Like a Hurricane (Scorpions). This is one of the reasons why I chose this particular flavor of Mullet for my celebratory event. The MalPractice show.